Your Perkiness Offends Me

I wouldn’t say I’m not a morning person, but I’m definitely not Susie Sunshine when it comes to the pre-noon hours.  And this is so very evident when it comes to my time at the office.

There are some people who, when I walk into our little cube farm, are like this:

Every time.  Without fail.  It’s not because they harbor some inappropriate obsession with me.  They are just that perky.  About everything.  And, oh my gosh, they just can’t wait to tell you.

After being excited about their cat being adorable or how it’s not raining or that marshmallows are really tasty in hot cocoa, they start in on you.

How was your day? How was your weekend? What’d you have for dinner? Oh, you like that show, too?  I’ve loved it since FOREEEVVVERRRRR. Where’d you get that skirt? How ARE you?

Somewhere around the second question, I start to feel conflicted.  On one hand, I am desperately trying to put forth minimal effort in answering those questions while somehow trying to ignore that the conversation is actually happening.  On the other, I am mentally willing the Perky Pamela of the day to just disappear, stop talking, or develop some sort of sudden onset muteness.

While I am glad to have the job I do now, I do sometimes miss the job I had last year where I worked from home.  The job itself, in spite of the salary, was just not worth it, but oh… the bliss of working from home.

I would wake up at a reasonable time, and the only company I had was our dog, Horatio.

Mini-sized Horatio, circa April 2008.

You know what was great about Horatio?  He looks cute, cuddles, and does not ask me stupid questions.  Granted since he was a puppy at that time, he was scared to jump off the sofa, so he would pee on it… but I deemed it an acceptable trade off for the blessed silence.

Horatio did not ask questions.  Horatio did not ask me if I wanted company every time I stepped away from my work area.  And I kid you not, someone asked me if I wanted company on my break not ten seconds ago, right after writing that sentence.  I hadn’t even gotten up from my desk or indicated that I planned to.


While I love my cubicle and love the people I work with, some days I long to be sitting at our dining room table with my laptop doing work.  I have some friends with these fabulously interesting telecommuting jobs, and I wish I knew how they snagged them, heh.

In summation, if you found your perky behavior being described in these passages, do not fret.  Follow this simple set of instructions.

1. Close your mouth.

2. Keep it closed.

I feel like such a party-pooping nudge, but oh well.  Everyone has their thing I suppose.

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5 Responses to Your Perkiness Offends Me

  1. A Super Girl says:

    I’ve basically told my co-workers that they should not bother me before 10 a.m. and that I will bring the hate down if they schedule a meeting with me at 9 a.m. Sometimes that works, sometimes not so much 🙂 But either way, at least they understand when I glare at their perky banter by the coffee machine.

  2. Miss Jenny says:

    I am the perky one. *cries* I am so perky that my cubicle neighbor moved their extremely heavy bookcase to block her desk from mine and the other cubicle neighbor on the other side had her seat moved. Hahaha. She said it was because she likes the view from the other window because it has “horses.” Me and this guy Ed do not believe her, hahahaha.

    But I am not alone! There are other perky people in the office. And I am not retarded. When I see someone like you who is like STOP INFRINGING ON MY LOVELY MORNING SILENT TIME, I just say Good Morning! And then they grunt. And I walk away, happy they did not bite my head off.

  3. Jamie says:


    I finally got around to my reader and adding this new site and seen this. It’s funny because I just wrote about the same thing today. It’s been a rough week.

    Do not come near me either with your perky, people.

  4. magda says:

    I have my moments of being a morning person, and sometimes I’ll admit to being THAT girl–but mostly because I’m trying to add a bit of life to the office that otherwise acts as if everyone is just a zombie. I can’t tell you how many e-mails I get from people who are in ADJOINING OFFICES, pithy emails, to the tune of “hey, do you have the X file?” Hi. I’m next door. Come say hey.

    This week, though? No. I’ve been coming in an hour earlier this summer, which Sucks (capitalization intentional). I usually close my door when I get in. No use even bothering till the caffeine has adequately saturated, or soaked in, or whatever.

    (and, okay, LOVING the new blog! Seriously. xx.)

  5. Megan says:

    While I’m definitely not a morning person, I do try to put on my happy face in the morning — just enough to not seem totally rude! My office is adjacent to that of my two coworkers, so I make sure I stick my head in to say hello, see how they’re doing, etc., before I make my exit! I’m hyper-aware of my perkiness, haha. I make sure I don’t talk too loudly, too quickly or too much… at least until after lunch!

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