…I’ve lost it, and it saddens me. I don’t know what happened. It’s not that I don’t want to anymore because I absolutely do. I think I am craving direction. A project to complete or something like that. I’ve never completed anything major in my life. Seriously, in my wake I have left numerous great ideas and projects unfinished, and that’s a little depressing.
I’m committing myself to doing one new recipe a week, which is kind of exciting, but other than that, I’m at a loss. (I admit, my new culinary weekly regime was inspired by seeing Julie & Julia yesterday.) I don’t think I’ve grown out of blogging; I still love it. I just feel as if I’m at an impasse. I’m finishing up school, but here I am, almost 27 years old, working out of a cubicle, pretty much answering the same questions day in and day out. Also, nine times out of ten the people asking the questions treat me as if I’m the most incompetent, moronic person on the planet.
On one hand, life has been an amazing adventure; I’ve seen and done things that my feeble little 18 year old brain could have never imagined. On the other hand, I feel a bit let down by all those little “you can do whatever you want in this life!” speeches. Then again, I probably let myself down on occasion by not following through, not taking things seriously, and other ridiculous late-teens mistake. Plus it’s not like the current economic climate really allows for a lot of people to just go out there and chase their dream. (Last I checked, hopes and dreams don’t pay rent.)
I feel as if I’m at a crossroads. I’m working on my career, conquering my white whale by finishing up my college degree, but I still find myself mentally drumming my fingers impatiently on the table.
Maybe I’m not just writing about blogging here.