I have to admit that after my mother ceremoniously disposed of my wedding dress last month, I have had a hard time getting back into wedding planning. While I’m excited to get married, and I know it will be a lovely time, the loss of the dress completely deflated me.
I wasn’t a bride who cried when I put on my dress, exclaiming that it was the one (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but I do remember feeling so elated that I had found the dress I was going to get married in.
When I heard her cold voice on the phone telling me “Your dress? It’s loooong gone,” as if she were gloating, I remember feeling my stomach flip in that painful way. Since then, it’s been difficult to get excited. Everything about planning has felt more difficult.
It’s not like we haven’t overcome roadblocks with this wedding before. And this time, it was just the dress. Before it’s been venue issues, friend issues, etc. This time? Our venue is in perfect order. The ceremony is locked in. Our honeymoon is booked. Our bridal party is set.
Yet this time felt different from anything else; I think the obvious is that this time it was my mother intentionally sabotaging what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, and it hurt. A lot.
Well, over the past week or so, I’ve been trying to get myself back into the game. Our big day is less than five months away, and I’ve pretty much dropped the ball in every respect.
Today I finally started looking at dresses again. It was a big step. Surprisingly, I have found a major contender.
I would not get it in black, obviously. It also comes in a champagne color (which is the one I would get), but there is no picture off the dress in that color, only an online swatch.
It is definitely different than the dress I had before. I considered replacing my dress. I even looked at similar styles to the one I had. Neither option seemed to work because I felt like it was tainted, which probably sounds completely ridiculous. I like this one, though. I like the simple lines and the sleeves. It looks elegant, a little bit retro, but classic. It’s a style I can definitely see myself in.
I am starting feel excited about things again, which is a definite change. A positive one, for sure. Our Save the Dates should be in either today or tomorrow, so those will be going out shortly. Eventually I need to figure out how the heck I’m going to decorate the top floor of a pub, but I’m sure it’ll come to me.
For now, I’ll just start with the dress. And this time, it’s staying with me. I’m not making the mistake of giving it to someone else for safe keeping… even if they are related.